Cake or Donut?

The other day I was faced with a choice. The dessert choices after a dinner meal at our jr. high camp were either cake or a donut -and we could only choose one. The cake seemed like the safer choice because the donut clearly did not have a delicious appeal to it. However, I decided to give the donut a try. Best decisions ever. That donut was so good, and filled with frosting. But I still wondered what the cake would have tasted like. We all have to make decisions everyday and each decision has a consequence, whether it's positive or negative. Lately I have found myself facing some pretty big decisions that I know will have really big consequences. Sometimes it's hard for me decide if something is what God wants me to do or if it is simply one of my own crazy desires. I want to get out of Manhattan. I have been here my entire life, can you blame me for wanting some place new? Not only that but I am ready to do something with my life. I am passionate about serving other people. I treasure the relationships that I build with others. I want to get out and meet new people, get away from this bubble that I have made myself comfortable in. What is stopping me? School. There are three things that come to mind when I think of school: overrated, way too long, expensive. I can no longer afford school. I no longer have any passion or desire for school. I am already a 5th year senior. I don't really even know if I want to teach, nor do I have a clue what I want to do with my life. So I have had all these crazy ideas in my head: transfer to Arizona, take a year off and work, study abroad, suck it up and finish... Obviously I know which one is the most logical, but what if I don't want to be logical? What if I want to be spontaneous and do something crazy that I wouldn't usually do? What if I want to go against what everyone is telling me? I am only young once, I might as well live it up right? I keep going through each of these situations in my head, knowing what I want to do, but knowing that the consequences will be great, and no matter what I choose, I will always wonder what would have happened if I chose the other decision. No matter what decision I make I will learn something, and I know that God will be there for me wherever I go, whatever I do. But is it about me, or is it about him? So what will it be, cake or donut?

Gracias Dios

Home again in Manhattan. I have only been here for 5 days but it feels so much longer. I love getting to see my family and my oldest brother Zach is getting married on Saturday so it's going to be a crazy weekend! However, I can't help but think of how much I am ready for some place new. I feel like I am ready to do something else with my life but I am stuck because I have to finish school. Does anyone else feel that school is a bit overrated? I have been trying to get my priorities straightened out in my life, but it does no good to talk about priorities because my actions show where my priorities are at. I have been learning so much this summer. I have gained so much confidence that I never had before. I have wasted so much time comparing myself to other people and beating myself up about things that don't even matter. I am now more confident in myself and who I am because I have a God who loves me unconditionally and desires to have all of my heart. There is no other love comparable to this. For that reason I can be confident in who I am knowing that as long as I seek him, he is going to use me according to his plan. I am so excited to see what he is going to do next in my life. I will continuously be working on giving up all my desires for him. I am so thankful for the people he has placed in my life and for all the opportunities he has given me. I am blessed with so many great people in my life. I pray that I am not just comfortable with where I am at but that I will have the boldness and initiative to do something big for his kingdom.